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“Melbourne Cup” horror

November 10, 2014

No. Not the double tragedy of   the two horses that died  while performing for the  Australian racing calendar’s greatest prize. Though  that was, of course, bad enough. And something to be deplored.

But, at the risk of being seen to be frivolous in the shadow of  death on the turf, I feel obliged to record my horror at the appalling murder perpetrated by the fillies who flocked to the Adelaide Casino on Cup day.  Hard as I looked ,I could only spot  a handful of clotheshorses who escaped the label of “ludicrous”.

The rest? Sorry, young lady, but had you merely forgotten to finish swathing your lower limbs?  Or were your miniscule frilly black knickers some sort of fashion statement?And why, oh why, do draught mares feel the need to try and recall their early days as two-year-olds? If ever there was a statement about the inelegant glide to outrageous girth…

Bulging boobs and backsides bursting at the seams are unseemly.  And, as my dear old granny used to say, if the goods are not for sale they shouldn’t be on the shelf. If you get what I mean…

It won’t happen of course, but if the North Terrace pokies palace were to  make a return to the dress code and decorum of yesteryear it might not be such a bad move.


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