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Murder by menu.

July 16, 2016

Once, many moons ago, when giant kangaroos walked the Kaurna plains and piecarts dispensed gastronomic delicacies outside the North Terrace railway station, “Grumpy” would regularly undergo a secret sex-change ritual.

Armed with a healthy appetite and a nom-de-fork he would sally forth into the unsuspecting Adelaide restaurant scene, playing Robin to Batman’s alter-ego…the “Sunday Mail’s” feared food critic Sol Simeon.

Sadly Sol has long since gone to the great diner in the sky, hopefully with his secret double life intact. And today  food critics no longer lurk behind aliases, possibly because their damning criticisms are  free from litigation from irate restaurateurs. Or so it would seem if the latest acidic review (in today’s “Advertiser”)  is anything to go by…

Assuming that “Grumpy” is not immune from litigation I will not  name the hapless victim of a prolonged diatribe, only to say that it is a litany of descriptions about the menu that would make your hair curl if you were on the receiving end…

In Sol’s salad days, when I shared his meals under the guise of “Herself”, we were quite circumspect in our approach, and on several occasions I can remember that our experience never saw the light of day.

Perhaps we were over-cautious, but I was thankful that we never had to front the bench on a charge of murder by menu.

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